Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
