haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
