I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
