saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
