Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
