Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Your penis caused this!
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