so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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