Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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