i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
two words: eviction party
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
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At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
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You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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