I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
