I puked a lego.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
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I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
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THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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