i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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