Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
