Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
