There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I party with great urgency now.
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