some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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