There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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