Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
