after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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