Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
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She tied me up with her honor cords...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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