I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
