I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
