From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
