dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
