you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
