Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
