We won't sleep together?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
