would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
