He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
