I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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