I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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