I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
