I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
