this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
