you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
