Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize