I think i peed on brittanys purse
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
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why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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