If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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