I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Boobs speak an international language.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
