and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
