Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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