is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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