guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
