I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
two words...techno handjob
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So I just went to clothing optional bar
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
