just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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