Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
