You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
