I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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