Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
