oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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