Who did Billy Mays play for?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
