You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
