Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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