I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
