Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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