I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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