Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
