I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
