Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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