Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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