No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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