its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
