doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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