Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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