you're like a bully in the Christmas story
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
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The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Also, beer. Big fan.
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You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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