I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
