Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
