It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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